Happy Father’s Day!

If you are a parent, you know how difficult it can be to raise children and stay sane! On Father’s Day we pay tribute to all the wonderful fathers who are the loving anchors for their kids and spouses. This is your day to be proud of yourself and be pampered by your family!

Sobering Reality

If you think being a father is no big deal, think again! Listen to what Dr. Kyle Pruett says based on his research and that of other scientists:

Changing Role of Fathers

Further to Dr. Pruett’s snippets of wisdom, in the field of child development, there are numerous studies that show that parents have a strong influence on the development of their children through both genetics and behavior. As a parent, your influence extends to many areas of a child’s life. For example, the food they choose to eat, how active they choose to be, how they behave towards others, and how they manage stress.

When we look at the role of fathers in influencing children, traditionally fathers have held specific roles accepted by society. Do you remember who taught you how to ride a bike, or throw a baseball? Probably your father. Who taught you how to cook? Probably your mother. What about the generations before ours? The roles way back before the Industrial Revolution and Paleolithic era were indeed different.

In today’s world, the roles of fathers and mothers are becoming blurred. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2012 there were 214,000 fathers who reported that they stayed at home to raise the kids and take care of their families. The number of fathers at home is as high as 2 million according to a Pew Research Center survey, which included fathers who stayed at home because of other reasons such as illness or unemployment.

What is most interesting is that the number of men reporting that they want to stay at home with their kids is rising (Ref). The shift to home has also made more men responsible for preparing family meals, and helping kids with homework, shuttling kids to-and-from school, and extracurricular activities.

Fathers and Wellness

As a parent, ensuring your child’s wellbeing is a top priority. Regardless of whether you are a stay-at-home dad or not, how can you make a difference in your child’s fitness, nutrition and overall wellness?

Although the following is common sense, we offer these suggestions as reminders, and encourage you to share your thoughts with us in the comments section below. We want to know what you do!

Be a Model – Your kids notice what you do, not necessarily what you say. When ‘your talk matches your walk’, the reinforcement of the lesson is even greater. More specifically, show them you care about yours and their health.

Take care of your own health by exercising consistently, eating well, and managing your stress.
Help your kids make more nutritious food choices, teach them how to prepare healthy meals;
Be active with your kids by taking them biking, walking, getting them involved in household chores that require movement, playing sports, etc.
Be in control of your emotions when under stress or in dealing with conflict; show respectful behavior when playing sports.

Be a Supporter – Sometimes kids don’t like the same things parents like. For example, you might be a runner but your kids avoid it at all costs. Focus on helping them find their passion rather than pushing yours on them.

Encourage kids to try different sports or activities; ask them about what they like to do best and why;
Try out a sport or activity they like rather than having them try something you like;
Find out what nutritious foods they prefer and get creative about integrating those into their meals and snacks; try some of the nutritious foods they like;
Understand more about what causes anxiety for your kids and help work out ways to deal with it.
Use appropriately the “when I was a kid, we didn’t….” speech! It may not always be the answer to their problem. Life is different for them so put yourself in their shoes before you tell them about your experience as a kid.

Family Portrait – grade school drawing!

Be Present – More than anything, kids want to know that you care and love them. Your physical and emotional presence is critical.

Listen as much as you can, even though sometimes their need to talk comes at the worst possible time!
Attend as many of their special events like games, recitals, school plays as you can. Sharing experiences creates a stronger bond.
Enjoy the moments with your kids when they still want you around. The memories will keep you sane, happy, and proud when you’re older and wished your kids were still in diapers, tugging on your leg for attention!

May your Father’s Day celebrations be happy and filled with love.

Other References:

Recipe of the Week: Carrot Peach Loaf

Dealing with the Curveballs of Life

Everything is humming along nicely in your life, when bam! Something unexpected happens that makes you question life as you know it. When this happens, we naturally go through the roller coaster ride – a crazy emotional cycle from denial to anger to depression to seeking understanding to acceptance. Sometimes the cycle is long; other times it’s short. Some people take longer to get through the cycle, and sometimes the issue you’re facing is just too significant for you to accept and deal with in a short timeframe.

Been there? So have we! It’s amazing how resilient people can be when dealing with set backs.

photo credit: freerangestock

Although we naturally don’t like to reflect on the bad times in our lives, when you are faced with a curveball we urge you to think about how in the past you managed to get through tough times. If you summoned that strength in the past, you can do it again!

How have you dealt with your curveballs? Here are some ways we’ve kept ourselves sane and recovered our balance during those times. We offer these as strategies that have worked for us, not as scientifically researched solutions.

Perspective is Key

We are the center of the universe in our world so everything around us is there to support us. We sometimes don’t see the whole picture. When faced with a curveball, change the perspective from YOU to a broader picture. Think about how the curveball has affected others in your life; how the curveball is just one element in your life; how life can and should be different because of the new circumstances. Perspective has helped us see that the universe is much bigger than ourselves and that solutions may lie around the corner or that a better life is just ahead.

Control What You Can

If you have a high need to control ALL things in your life, this strategy may be particularly difficult. Accepting that some things can’t be changed no matter what you do or could have done or should have done is an important lesson to moving forward when faced with a curveball. Learn to separate what you can control from what you can’t. Putting your energy into what you can control will be more productive and uplifting.

Appreciate as Much as you Can

After a set back (and after you’ve done your crying, feeling sorry for yourself, getting angry or whatever helps you emotionally), take some time to reflect upon and appreciate what is good at the moment. You still have positives in your life that can be celebrated. These positives may feel even sweeter when dealing with curveballs and can give you the energy to tackle what’s ahead.

Change Things Up

As Jimmy Buffett says in his famous song, “Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes” can do wonders for you. Sometimes your attitude towards a situation can change by just changing the scene. Try to get out of town for a breather or do something that you enjoy like a hobby. As well, exercise will naturally dissipate the hormones and other chemicals that build up during periods of high stress so go for a bike ride, walk, run, or do something that gets your heart pumping.